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My name is Lauren, and I’ve been diagnosed with environmental illness in 1985. And chemical sensitivity fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue, anxiety and depression. You know, again, I was able to work for 19 years, even with the initial diagnosis. But after I became very ill, I was basically disabled and I’ve been unable to work since 2001. My children were young at the time, grade school and middle school, and I couldn’t be the mother I wanted to for them ’cause I was just too sick and ill most of the time. And, you know, my life kind of went from, well, normal or fairly normal to extremely restricted. You know, my friends fell away. I wasn’t able to do any social activities that I used to do and basically it was a matter of just, you know, survival. I felt sick every day.
There was never a day where I didn’t feel ill somehow, you know, either pain or exhaustion or, you know, all the symptoms you get from chemical sensitivity or a combination. So it, it’s like living in a little, you know, bubble in my house. I’m pretty much a recluse. I would have to really call myself a recluse–only go out when I have to. No one comes to my house to visit and I rarely visit anyone else. And all my friends, or the few that I have left are basically internet and phone. And I don’t, I don’t see people that often because, you know, I can’t tolerate, I can’t tolerate anything they bring in on their clothing, their hair, and they don’t, you know, even my friends don’t fully understand how disabling it is. ’cause they look at me and they go, oh, well, you look fine.
So it’s really challenging to live with an illness that’s hidden and be disabled, but people don’t get it. And when you try to explain it to ’em, they still don’t get it. I get definitely physical symptoms. Most of mine are neurological. I get exhaustion. Exhaustion. I get severe mood swings from, you know, homicidal, sometimes suicidal ideation. I mean, really extreme. I can be way out there. Inability to control crying. That’s at the worst. The fatigue is, is always there and that gets worse. I also get, I guess what they call brain fog where I can’t concentrate. My memory is very bad, and that is definitely disturbing because I’ve always really considered myself to be an intelligent person. But it’s really hard to function when you can’t concentrate and you can’t remember anything. So I would say, I can’t, it’s very challenging to even read a book because I can’t remember what I’ve read and I have to start over again and kind of backtrack. How I feel different is I’ve made some changes and my physical symptoms have reduced, not hugely, but noticeably. I still notice the way things smell, but it’s not bothering me as much, and I’m able to set it aside more. And there’s periods of time when I don’t smell the smells at all. So it’s, it’s in fluctuating mode. Noises aren’t startling me as much, so my whole system is calming down.
I feel overall happy. I’ve been almost motor mouth talking so much for these past five days because I’m not generally energetic enough to carry on a lot of socializing. So my energy level has improved. I feel really hopeful that I’m going to continue to get better. And I feel like, I really do feel like spirit guided me here. Just, there’s so many steps to getting here. So, I’m really encouraged and I’m happy and I feel actually, I feel kinda wired the opposite way of how I usually feel. And it’s not an exhausting up. It’s like, oh, this is what it feels like to feel energy, to be able to do things, you know, and not just be so physically down, but not all, but also not emotionally down.
I would have to say in general, I was a negative person, pessimistic my whole life and had trouble finding joy in things. There were moments of course, but it was really challenging. And the more ill I became, the more difficult it was to try to be positive about anything and I had done all kinds of spiritual practices and gone to all kinds of self-healing things and change your mind seminars and whatever. And none of that really worked for me. I thought, oh, you know, none of this stuff works. I would have to say that my biggest state of emotion was depression with anxiety together. So being down and then feeling your heart pounding constantly and being tense and anxious was a miserable state to be in 24 7 and very difficult to relax. Very… constant worrier, constant anxiety, worrying about everything, no matter big or small, physically, I’d have to say that I was always tired no matter how much sleep I got or how many times I took a nap during the day.
I always felt tired. And by the end of the day I was exhausted. So I’d go to bed tired and wake up tired. My digestion was always shot, even if I was careful about my food. A lot of times I’d wake up in the morning just not feeling well, you know, indigestion, nausea, feeling, heavy feeling. My favorite expression used to be, I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck–so not just fatigue, but just total body weariness. And I haven’t felt that in the past couple of days I’ve been waking up feeling hungry, which is really new for me. So I know my digestion is kicking in and working. And after the seminar, the whole, my whole system is calmed down. Physically, when I smell a smell, I’m not going into that whole body reaction thing I might have.
It’s the, the physical reaction is diminished. I might have some sinus pressure around here, little bit of a headache, but I’m not like waking up in the morning feeling like, oh my gosh, I can’t function today. I feel horrible. I’m not getting that flu-like stuff. And it’s not affecting my mood, which is a major change for me. That’s the part of the reaction that I’ve always used to dislike the most. I could handle not feeling well. I couldn’t handle the emotional mood. The, the mood swings. I felt like a crazy person. I felt like I’m not in control of my own brain. I can’t even, I don’t even know who I am. I’m irritable and I’m grumpy and angry and and raging. And then I’d be okay until the next stimulus came along. So having that whole thing calm down and the reactions, physical, emotional, and psychological have toned down, I would say to someone who has limbic system imbalance to do this program.
If you’re not well enough to come, if you feel you’re not well enough to come to the in-person, then do the DVDs first and get here. I didn’t do the DVDs, because I thought I just wanna go and I do better with, with people demonstrating it to me rather than seeing it on a DVD. But everyone’s different… I would say to people, you know, give it a try because I’ve been through the ringer. I mean, I was diagnosed in 1985 and every treatment out there, I have tried Western medicine, alternative medicine, everything. Some of it helped, some of it didn’t do a thing. Sure. Made my bank account, you know, drop way low and, you know, it’s worth the investment. You know, it’s, I’ve heard so many people say that, and it almost sounds like a cliche but it’s really great because you’re with other people that all have limbic system imbalance and you see and hear and feel their progress, which makes you feel good. It’s like, wow, if they can do it, I can do it. I mean, if I could feel better in five days, me, and I’m 56 years old and I’ve probably, again, since three years of age, started having problems. So I’ve had this for 53 years, 53 years. And if I can make a change in five days, even with just my attitude, that’s gotta be testimonial to somebody else out there somewhere.
